Hey I would like to introduce my spouse to vibrator sex. Any helpful hints, have tried some vibrating massagers and gotten "doesn't do anything for me, or maybe something more on the spot". HELP!!

 -Matthew

 

Hi there Matt,

     Hmmm, not really sure how to tackle this question, it's kind of not enough info for me.  I'm not sure about why your wife would say "doesn't do anything for me" or "maybe something more on the spot".  I'm not sure what kind of vibrator you are looking for but there are different kinds for sure.  If she wants something more on the spot, does she mean clitoral or g-spot?  If I were her and I was saying that something wasn't doing something for me I would assume that it was a vaginal vibrator and she doesn't have g-spot orgasms.  In that case a clitoral orgasm would definitely be "More on the Spot!"  There are vibrators that slip over your finger so you can easily stimulate your own clit or if you wear it you can stimulate it by wrapping your arms around her from behind.  There are little pocket rockets that are small little guys that can be directed right at her clitoris.  There are strap on type vibrators that slip over her thighs and stay positioned right over her clit so you can still penetrate her and the controls are remote which means either one of you can control the speed.  But maybe she does want g-spot stimulation and in that case there are vibrators that are curved in such ways that there is no way to miss the g-spot.  They make them with pointy heads and flat heads and jelly-like heads and nubby heads, oh man I could go on forever.  If you give me more info I might be able to point you in the right direction.  Hope this helped in the meanwhile.  Have fun trying!

-Crystal

Dear Crystal,

     It seems that there are so many new, interesting and exciting ways for women to get off sexually when they are alone.  It seems almost normal for a large percentage of women to keep some sort of vibrator around the house and if not something as conspicuous as a vibrator or dildo than they have things like "massagers" or detachable shower heads that they can spray on themselves and get off on.  Why do guys have to resort to jacking off all the time?  All we ever get is a choice between lotion, baby oil or some other lubricant laying around the house.  What is something pleasurable and exciting we can use instead of just our calloused hands all the time?  Thanks for the help...

 Needing Something New in La Jolla

 Hi there Needing Something New,

     It's funny you should ask because I have always thought that all the different contraptions men could make or buy seemed way more exciting than what girls have.  Well, let me rephrase, I always thought being a guy and being able to put your dick anywhere soft and wet would be so cool and easy.  Girls' parts are so much more complicated than boys'.  But anyway, I'm glad you asked because there are a plethora of toys available for you to pleasure yourself with.  There are penis sleeves that you essentially stick your dick in and fuck that are made to feel just like the inside of a pussy or ass or mouth.  There are penis pumps which have a tight vacuum sealed suction on them that not only can give you pleasure but can also help with maintain a hard, full erection.  Some are electrically powered so there is no work for you...I've included a video for your viewing pleasure!  There are also love dolls which can range from blow up dolls to full bodied, realistic looking and feeling dolls that you can customize yourself for a pretty hefty price.  It all depends on what you are looking for.  Here are a couple suggestions...

 

 

Hi there again readers!

     As a continuation to our below discussion on cock rings, we had a very generous reader submit a few pictures of his lovely ball spreader.  A ball spreader is another kind of cock ring which not only encompasses the cock itself but also wraps around behind the scrotum and has a "divider" between the balls.  This neatly and attractively separates each ball into his own little cubby and makes for a great looking "package".  Picking out your own personal size doesn't normally take a deep knowledge of college calculus either since most of them are adjustable.  For men that like the feeling of their balls being secure during masturbation, oral sex or fucking in general, this type of cock ring is ideal.  It gives the feel of security and is quite titillating so I've heard.  Let's all enjoy my reader's (who has asked to remain anonymous) together shall we?!

 

Sex Blog Heaven

 I get lots of men that write in and want to buy cock rings but don't know how.  Some look like scary contraptions and others look like you have to be a rocket scientist to pick the right size.  So instead of picking one email and posting it, I have written a How-To on cock rings for you...hope this helps guys!

Step 1: Decide what kind (or material) you would like your cock ring to be made of.  Some cock rings are made of rubber, metal, leather and some are also made of a really stretchy, soft, jelly-like material.  You must also decide if you want your cock ring for functional use or for ornamental use.  A functional cock ring will perform the function of assisting in helping you to maintain a strong, hard erection and often times delay orgasm and ejaculation.  It is very common to see cock rings with snaps or break-away buttons to allow ease of release when ready to ejaculate.  These types of rings usually fit around the penis and testicles together.  If the proper usage is practiced, they can be totally since veins are closer to the surface of the skin than arteries, they allow blood to flow into the penis but not out.  This helps to maintain an erection once your penis fills with blood, therefore the ring should be put on when the penis is flaccid or soft.    An ornamental cock ring is designed to be attractive to look at and comfortable enough to wear all day if desired.  Ornamental cocks rings usually only fit over the penis alone and are not to be used during intercourse or masturbation.  You may even want to wear a cock ring to aid in your female partner’s pleasure.  Cock rings with attached vibrating bullets can be purchased and during intercourse, the bullet will rub on your partner’s clitoris as you thrust inside her.   Pair that with prolonged ejaculation for you and you have a long night of great sex ahead. 

Step 2: How to measure for a cock ring…the million dollar question.  If you don’t have an adjustable cock ring, like one with snaps or buttons, there are a couple steps to the process.  The first is measuring for your cock ring.  Size is very important in not hurting yourself and not cutting off too much circulation to your penis.  A cock ring that is too loose will do nothing to help you with your erection.  A cock ring that is too tight can prevent any blood from flowing out of your penis which would stop your penis from ever going flaccid.  If you are going to buy a functional cock ring and wear it during sex you will want to take one of those flexible tape measures and measure the circumference around your penis and testicles at the base while you are erect.  Once you get that measurement, it seems the universal number to divide that buy to get the perfect fit is 3.1.  The number you come up with should be the smallest diameter to ever buy.  As an example, if you were to slip the tape measure behind your testicles and up around the base of your penis and you got 5.5” and you divided that by 3.1, your number would be 1.774.  This would tell you that you would purchase a cock ring no smaller than 1.8 inches.  If you were just buying an ornamental cock ring you would do this arithmetic with the measurement of just your penis alone.   

Step 3: How to put your cock ring on…Most importantly; do this while you are still flaccid.  Hold the cock ring under your scrotum and insert one testicle and then push the other one through.  Once both testicles are through, bend the penis down into the rings and grab the head of the penis and finish pulling it through.  To take it off, do the steps backward…if the ring is the right size, it won’t fall off even when you are still soft.  If you would like, you may do either or both steps using some personal lubricant.  If you are just wearing an ornamental cock ring, the steps obviously are a lot easier…just slip over the penis while it is soft.

Precautions:  If you feel discomfort of any kinds, take it off!  If you feel like your genitals are cold, it’s too tight, take it off!  A cock ring isn’t going to make your penis bigger, if you notice extreme swelling, although you may like the way it looks, take it off!  If you can’t get it off, go to an emergency room, this is very common.  Don’t be dumb, go to the hospital!  If you leave it on too long because you can’t get if off yourself you could permanently damage the tissue in your penis.                 

Tips:  Guys, don’t sleep with these on…men get erections about every 45 minutes in their sleep, you won’t know if it’s too tight, don’t take the chance.  I know you are getting attached to it, but take it off when you go to bed!

 

 

 

More and more it seems women are buying the wrong vibrators and aren't happy with them.  I hear more and more women asking each other: "If you can't try one out and return it when you realize it's not the right one, how can I educate myself and buy the right one the first time?"  I've often wondered that myself and I've fully educated myself.  Come check out my eHow article that I wrote to help enlighten everyone...How To Choose The Right Vibrator.

I wanted to tell anyone interested about the new gift that was bought for me.  I had a particularly nice gentleman buy me a new toy for my collection.  The Wild G Vibrator.  My old vibrator  was in desperate need of retirement and I was delighted when my package came straight to my desk via USPS.  I got home last night, finished all of my "chores", the gym, dinner, laundry, straightening up...and decided to reward myself.  I called out into the living room, "Babe, wanna try my new toy out on me?!"  And at once heard heavy, hasty footsteps.  I heard him lock himself in the bathroom (probably taking a bird bath) and opened the postal box, dumped out the packaging paper and the vibrator package.  I shoved three AA batteries in the battery charger I always have plugged in my wall and unpatiently waiting for the red indicator light to extinguish.  I came back over to my bed and took my new beautiful vibrator out of the package.  I must say at first glance, I was intimidated by its size.  I will say that it definitely wasn't made for women that want to be penetrated by smaller sized dildos.  But it was beautiful, more purple than the blue color in the picture.  And the ball bearings that are in the rotating middle section are on this cool, high-tech looking gear system.  It was made to never get jammed.  Now let me tell you about it's curves.  The picture doesn't do it's curvy-ness justice.  I was already getting excited running my hands over it, flicking at the clit stimulator.  You can't really tell from the picture but the clit stimulator has two little (what I would call) spikes on them, lower down on the shaft, so depending on how deep you insert the dildo part, the clit stimulation changes...

 I hear the water in the bathroom turn off as the last red indicator light on the battery charger goes out.  I shove the batteries in their respective place, lean over my bed to my toy drawer and pull out my Astroglide and roll over on my back, naked on a towel on my bed.  As he walks in I smile at him and brandish my new toy at him, he pretend-pouts and says, "but it's bigger than me!"  He stands at the side of the bed with his hips eye-level with my face and holds the control portion of the vibrator as I stroke it with Astroglide.  I can see him growing in his shorts as he begins to try to insert it in me.  He is cautious, too much so for my excitement as he slowly works just the top third into me.  I grab his wrist and force him to shove the remainder of it in me all at once.  I feel the curves of the shaft slide over my g-spot twice and immediately get that subtle, telltale urge to pee.  Before he has to chance to ask for my approval of the toy and its depth, I claw his shorts down and stifle my moans with his cock.  He sets the controls on the rotating head/rotating beads on 2 and sets the clit stimulator on setting 1 of 3.  I'm doing a horrible job of blowing him as I am enjoying my own pleasures way too much.  He's experimenting with just flicking my clit with the upper portion of the clit stimulator, which puts the rotating head right on my g-spot and then changes to pushing the whole stimulator up on my crotch which makes my whole pussy tremor.  Like this, the beads are rotating on my spot.  I know that he is enjoying the show too because I can taste droplets of precum and he keeps having to pull away from me to regain composure.  After a couple more minutes of me giving him a chaotic, sloppy blow job I decide that I like the flicking/rotating head feeling better.  I gently pull his wrist back just a little and when he hears my moaning ascend, he figures it out.  I'd say a whole whopping 3 minutes later I was wildly thrashing and whimpering on his cock as I finally had to pull the vibrator out of me and pant myself back to regular breathing.

 All-in-all, I would wrap up my review by saying I can't wait to get home today and do it all over again.  It was wonderful, pleasantly large, gorgeous to look at and well built.  I got great power with just the use of three AA batteries instead of four and it cleaned up pretty well with my spray on anti-bacterial toy cleaner. 

P.S.  For those of you worried that I left him hanging, trust me, he jumped in the saddle and road me long and hard afterward...(well he was pretty excited, I don't really know about the "long" part.) 

 

Adult Blog Links