HI CRYSTAL!
I'm having a little problem with my girl. When we start to make out and kiss and get naked she gets wet like crazy, but them she wants me to go down there and lick her and eat her out but it smells down there. Just smelling it makes me kinda grossed out. I want to do it to so bad!! What should i do. And another thing when we try to have sex when shes on top of me she makes my dick bend why is that? We always do the same position and its getting boring. I just wanna have fun!! Plz help....

Hello Allan,

     Sorry to hear about your problem.  This is a commom issue with men and there are a few roads we can meander down.  One, let me start off my telling you that there are many men that wish they had your problem.  So many men wish their girls/wives got crazy wet.  Now as for the smell, I'm not sure if you are just offended by a strong vaginal odor or if the odor you are smelling is "fishy or seafood smelling".  If it is the latter of the two, it would lead me to believe that she may have a yeast infection...she would know if she had vaginal itching or a greeninsh tinge to her discharge.  Or she may have chlamydia and have greyish discharge, or even have no symptoms at all.  Either way, I think she should visit her gynecologist just to be safe.  Both are easily treated, one with antibiotics, one with an OTC ointment or cream.  As far as your other problem, of your dick bending...this would lead me to believe that you aren't getting full, strong erections.  If it is only every once in a while, you could just grip the base of your cock to support it as she rides up and down.  But if it's happening often, you can look into getting a cock ring.  I have a lot of posts on my blog about them, why don't you read up on them while you are here! :-)  You can shop online, I have a great link to a website you can order one discreetly from, or you can just browse around a sex shoppe.  But, don't think I forgot you saying you were bored of the same old position...if your dick is only bending in this position, does it mean you aren't really mentally there so maybe you aren't into it enough for your cock to get all the way hard?  Why don't you change it up a little and have her ride reverse cowgirl so you can tickle her ass with your fingers?  Or spoon her and lift her top leg in the air so she has some room to diddle around down there with her fingers?  I hope this helped...

 Keep me informed!

Jessica says:

     I was wondering if there really is anything out that that can make your pussy tighter. My boyfriend of 4 years says its alright but I wanted to know if there is a way to make it tighter. Does it matter that I have had 2 kids.

 Hi Jessica,

      This is a hard question for me.  A lot of the answers I give people here I give from experience and studies but on this one, I am baffled.  If you are wondering if there is a "product" out there that claims it can, yes there is.  There are vaginal rejuvenation surgeries that are very expensive that are said to tighten up your vagina.  But I don't know how comfortable I would be having someone with a scalpel poking at my hoohaa.  Kegel exercises have been around for a while and can be practiced and performed anywhere without anyone ever knowing you were doing them.  Not only that, but you can perform Kegels as you are having sex and drive your man crazy.  Whether you think you aren't as tight as you used to be or not, you should be squeezing down on him anyway, that is a great feeling for men.  There are also claims of "creams" or "ointments" that you can spread around down there and inside that are said to make you tighter.  I have never used these products and even as I do research on them, many of them don't contain reviews.  The majority of these products don't have a "How it Works" section on them and the couple that do talk about Oak Gall, a growth found on trees in only a few places in the world.  This extract is said to be the active ingredient and that it has been used in Asia since like the dawn of time by women after child birth.  If you aren't particularly sensitive down there, I would say go for it and check it out.  Maybe it will work, if not, at least it gave you a fun idea to try something out and jump in the sack.  If you do end up trying something out, please email me back and review it for me.  I will show you a couple products below that are said to tighten the vagina.

Thanks again Jessica!

 

 

Hey I would like to introduce my spouse to vibrator sex. Any helpful hints, have tried some vibrating massagers and gotten "doesn't do anything for me, or maybe something more on the spot". HELP!!

 -Matthew

 

Hi there Matt,

     Hmmm, not really sure how to tackle this question, it's kind of not enough info for me.  I'm not sure about why your wife would say "doesn't do anything for me" or "maybe something more on the spot".  I'm not sure what kind of vibrator you are looking for but there are different kinds for sure.  If she wants something more on the spot, does she mean clitoral or g-spot?  If I were her and I was saying that something wasn't doing something for me I would assume that it was a vaginal vibrator and she doesn't have g-spot orgasms.  In that case a clitoral orgasm would definitely be "More on the Spot!"  There are vibrators that slip over your finger so you can easily stimulate your own clit or if you wear it you can stimulate it by wrapping your arms around her from behind.  There are little pocket rockets that are small little guys that can be directed right at her clitoris.  There are strap on type vibrators that slip over her thighs and stay positioned right over her clit so you can still penetrate her and the controls are remote which means either one of you can control the speed.  But maybe she does want g-spot stimulation and in that case there are vibrators that are curved in such ways that there is no way to miss the g-spot.  They make them with pointy heads and flat heads and jelly-like heads and nubby heads, oh man I could go on forever.  If you give me more info I might be able to point you in the right direction.  Hope this helped in the meanwhile.  Have fun trying!

-Crystal

Hi there again readers!

     As a continuation to our below discussion on cock rings, we had a very generous reader submit a few pictures of his lovely ball spreader.  A ball spreader is another kind of cock ring which not only encompasses the cock itself but also wraps around behind the scrotum and has a "divider" between the balls.  This neatly and attractively separates each ball into his own little cubby and makes for a great looking "package".  Picking out your own personal size doesn't normally take a deep knowledge of college calculus either since most of them are adjustable.  For men that like the feeling of their balls being secure during masturbation, oral sex or fucking in general, this type of cock ring is ideal.  It gives the feel of security and is quite titillating so I've heard.  Let's all enjoy my reader's (who has asked to remain anonymous) together shall we?!

 

Sex Blog Heaven

 I get lots of men that write in and want to buy cock rings but don't know how.  Some look like scary contraptions and others look like you have to be a rocket scientist to pick the right size.  So instead of picking one email and posting it, I have written a How-To on cock rings for you...hope this helps guys!

Step 1: Decide what kind (or material) you would like your cock ring to be made of.  Some cock rings are made of rubber, metal, leather and some are also made of a really stretchy, soft, jelly-like material.  You must also decide if you want your cock ring for functional use or for ornamental use.  A functional cock ring will perform the function of assisting in helping you to maintain a strong, hard erection and often times delay orgasm and ejaculation.  It is very common to see cock rings with snaps or break-away buttons to allow ease of release when ready to ejaculate.  These types of rings usually fit around the penis and testicles together.  If the proper usage is practiced, they can be totally since veins are closer to the surface of the skin than arteries, they allow blood to flow into the penis but not out.  This helps to maintain an erection once your penis fills with blood, therefore the ring should be put on when the penis is flaccid or soft.    An ornamental cock ring is designed to be attractive to look at and comfortable enough to wear all day if desired.  Ornamental cocks rings usually only fit over the penis alone and are not to be used during intercourse or masturbation.  You may even want to wear a cock ring to aid in your female partner’s pleasure.  Cock rings with attached vibrating bullets can be purchased and during intercourse, the bullet will rub on your partner’s clitoris as you thrust inside her.   Pair that with prolonged ejaculation for you and you have a long night of great sex ahead. 

Step 2: How to measure for a cock ring…the million dollar question.  If you don’t have an adjustable cock ring, like one with snaps or buttons, there are a couple steps to the process.  The first is measuring for your cock ring.  Size is very important in not hurting yourself and not cutting off too much circulation to your penis.  A cock ring that is too loose will do nothing to help you with your erection.  A cock ring that is too tight can prevent any blood from flowing out of your penis which would stop your penis from ever going flaccid.  If you are going to buy a functional cock ring and wear it during sex you will want to take one of those flexible tape measures and measure the circumference around your penis and testicles at the base while you are erect.  Once you get that measurement, it seems the universal number to divide that buy to get the perfect fit is 3.1.  The number you come up with should be the smallest diameter to ever buy.  As an example, if you were to slip the tape measure behind your testicles and up around the base of your penis and you got 5.5” and you divided that by 3.1, your number would be 1.774.  This would tell you that you would purchase a cock ring no smaller than 1.8 inches.  If you were just buying an ornamental cock ring you would do this arithmetic with the measurement of just your penis alone.   

Step 3: How to put your cock ring on…Most importantly; do this while you are still flaccid.  Hold the cock ring under your scrotum and insert one testicle and then push the other one through.  Once both testicles are through, bend the penis down into the rings and grab the head of the penis and finish pulling it through.  To take it off, do the steps backward…if the ring is the right size, it won’t fall off even when you are still soft.  If you would like, you may do either or both steps using some personal lubricant.  If you are just wearing an ornamental cock ring, the steps obviously are a lot easier…just slip over the penis while it is soft.

Precautions:  If you feel discomfort of any kinds, take it off!  If you feel like your genitals are cold, it’s too tight, take it off!  A cock ring isn’t going to make your penis bigger, if you notice extreme swelling, although you may like the way it looks, take it off!  If you can’t get it off, go to an emergency room, this is very common.  Don’t be dumb, go to the hospital!  If you leave it on too long because you can’t get if off yourself you could permanently damage the tissue in your penis.                 

Tips:  Guys, don’t sleep with these on…men get erections about every 45 minutes in their sleep, you won’t know if it’s too tight, don’t take the chance.  I know you are getting attached to it, but take it off when you go to bed!

 

 

 

More and more it seems women are buying the wrong vibrators and aren't happy with them.  I hear more and more women asking each other: "If you can't try one out and return it when you realize it's not the right one, how can I educate myself and buy the right one the first time?"  I've often wondered that myself and I've fully educated myself.  Come check out my eHow article that I wrote to help enlighten everyone...How To Choose The Right Vibrator.

Crystal -- I am just 18 and in my first sexual experiences. Always safe sex. Here is a question I cannot get my self to ask my current girlfriend, who has more experience than I do. First, can a girl tell the difference when a guy is using a condom or not? And does it make a difference in the quality of the sex? Second, can a girl tell when a guy cums when he is/is not using a condom? And does it make a difference.

Thanks

Well hello there Mr. Anonymous 18 year old...How's it going?  Glad you stumbled onto my site.  This is a good place to ask questions when it's hard to ask someone more experienced than you.  And at your age, guys are trying so hard to be macho the thought of asking a girl a sex question is totally out of the picture.  I have answers for you but I'm trying hard not to read more into these questions.  I hope your inquiries aren't in some way leading to you wanting to try to pull a fast one on a girl and tell her you are wearing a condom when indeed you aren't.  Anyway, here is what I think...Can you tell the difference between condom and no condom?  I'd say yes for a couple of reasons.  One, when trying to slip your dick in for the first time, that little reservoir tip has a telltale feeling to it when it's rubbing around your entrance.  Two, I can definitely say that if you have pubic hair, whether it's trimmed down tight or au naturale, you can still feel a definite difference as the base of the condom is rubbing around down there.  But, just for science purposes, I do want to point out that believe it or not, there aren't a whole lot of nerve endings that are ultra-sensitive actually in the vaginal canal and as tight as condoms are, you can't really feel them in there.  Just those two little places, the tip and the base.  Especially if you say your girl is more experienced than you, she would be able to tell the difference for sure.  Quality of sex you ask?  I know for you there is a difference, the sensitivity in your penis is being masked by a thin layer of latex, but for us, all we need is our clit stimulated or our g-spot hit and we are good.  We aren't the ones wearing the condom so it doesn't desensitize anything for us.  Your third question about a girl knowing when you cum is a little more complicated.  I know that if a guy tried to fake an orgasm on me, condom or not, especially if he were someone I've had sex with before, I would know.  Women learn to know what the little, almost hard to detect feelings are of a man's penis throbbing and pulsing as they are ejaculating.  Especially if we practice our Kegel exercises and can squeeze down on you with our pussy.  I don't know a woman that could actually feel the "squirting" of the cum but the spasm of the penis, for sure.  And of course that doesn't matter if you are wearing a condom or not.  I would advise though that you don't cum in a condom and try to play it off like you didn't and keep going just so she will think that you are some stud because although the semen goes into the reservoir tip, if you keep pumping away in there, there is a definite chance of it seeping back out.  So please, feel free to ask me more questions and continue to be safe.  For you and for her.  You are way too young to be living with possibly a disease or a baby for the rest of your life.  And take into consideration that there is a whole bunch of fun condoms you can choose from to keep it fun in the bedroom, there are ultra-sensitive for you, ribbed, flavored, colored and even condoms that have little bumps and nubbies on the inside to pleasure you too.  Have fun!  Be safe!

                                                                   

 

Dear Crystal,                                                                     

      I was told about your page from a girlfriend of mine and I think it's great.  I'm writing because I have a problem that I am hoping isn't rare enough that you won't have dealt with it before.  I have inverted nipples and I'm tired of hiding them.  Whenever I date someone new it's the typical "lights out sex" for a while until they finally say something.  Then when the lights come on I'm constantly trying to hide them when he's on top by kinda covering them with my forearms while I rub his chest, or pressing my body to his real close so he can't see them.  God forbid the men I sleep with ask me to undress for them, on the rare occassion I have to turn my back when I take my bra off and them when I slide the cups off kinda nonchalantly pinch them real hard so that they will stay out and erect long enough for me to make it over to my man and start the "hide the nipples" dance again.  Ugh, I'm sick of it!  I've seen doctors to see if it can be fixed and they say it can but it starts at $1200 for the surgery!  What can you suggest if anything!!!!!!

 Anonymous in Agoura

 

Hello Anonymous in Agoura,

     Well I guess I can skip all the medical chat on why your nipples are inverted being that you have already been to see a plastic surgeon.  But for any other readers that are interested; the inversion is caused by an adhesion or a band of tissue connecting your breast tissue to the nipple tissue that is too tight.  But don't fret, plastic surgery isn't the only way to cure this.  You hit the nail on the head when you said you can get them to temporarily protract, or become erect.  If it is possible to do that, you can fix them with time.  One thing to do for starters is to pinch and stimulate and pull the nipple out anytime you can.  If you are sitting watching TV do it a couple times, do it in the shower, do it while you sit on the toilet.  Whenever you can without getting arrested for indecent exposure!  The other thing is have your boyfriend or male partners suck and chew on them too, any stimulus will help loosen or stretch out the band of tissue that is too tight right now.  Another really convenient and kinky thing that can spice up your sex life is buying some nipple stimulators.  There are all kinds of things you can purchase that will be fun, exciting and beautiful.  There are nipple clamps, nipple suckers, nipple jewelry and even creams you can rub on them that will help keep them erect.  All of these things above if practiced often will make it so that your nipples are more present than not.  There will still be times when wearing a tight bra all day will smash them flat again, but with a quick pinch or use of these toys above and they will be standing at attention in no time at all!  Have fun, I hope I help you, no one deserves to be insecure in the bedroom.  If you care about these guys and they care about you, the way your nipples look won't even matter.  If you trust your man, be open with him and I'm sure he will be more than willing to help!

 -Crystal

 

Hi Crystal,

Well, I am in a relationship with a guy who is pretty much super cool and we have tons of fun.

I really like him but, now I'm a little dissapointed. It turns out that he has a super small dick. There, I said it! It is so small that I can't even tell if it is inside or not! It is one of those things you know, he is so cute and awesome but his package is just not doing him any justice. God has cursed him! If I get on top of him I kind of feel it, but still it is pretty annoying you know. I don't know what alternatives there are in this case. I'm not breaking up with him over this, but I could use some suggestions. It is so bad that I can't even bring myself to give him head! I think his balls are bigger! It is a sad - sad- thing...

Thanks in advance,

Lynn from San Fransisco, CA

 

Good evening Lynn,

     Ooh...ouch!  That's a sensitive subject but it's good to know you are willing to talk about it and willing to stick around.  My first and most important question is does he know how you feel about his size?  Does he know you are frustrated.  It's very important to not make him feel like he's less of a man or like it's his doing that you aren't being satisfied.  I know that actual penetration is a very important part of sex with someone...but it's not everything.  One, I hope he's going down on you or manually stimulating you.  If not, take more time to please each other orally.  Try to focus more on foreplay with him.  Let him know how fun you think it is and how much it turns you on.  But you have to be willing to return the favor and do for him what he likes.  And it sounds like you really like him so I'm sure you will be.  Now here is the other thing, I don't know what age you guys are or how mature he is, but if he isn't in denial about his short-comings in the nether regions (excuse the pun) then there are lots of things you can try.  You can get him penis extensions to try.  There are penis extensions that you strap on that will give him length and girth and there are also strapless extensions that actually roll on like a condom.  He can also utilize a penis pump and see if that helps.  Once guys get over the fact that is them, the way they are, nothing he can change, many men with small cocks are totally turned on by seeing your reactions (facial and audible) when you take something big inside you.  Maybe you can get a dildo and let him use that on you sometimes too.  There is also the option of him getting a strap on harness and you can pick out a dildo to go with it.  That way you still get the intimacy of sexual positions and he can still thrust, not just hold it and ram it in you.  But I want to stress how important it is to bring these things up lightly.  Not make him feel bad and keep reminding him how much you want to please him too.  I hope this helps Lynn.  Keep me updated with comments if you would like. 

Hi Crystal,

I'm dealing with a fling from the past that I use to be sooooooooo into. The sex was awesome and I had so many multiple orgasms with him... now that he is back in the picture and i'm a bit older (5 years older) things aren't the same anymore and i'm very disapointed by it. I haven't had a single orgasm with him!!! WTF?! This is the guy that would just simply touch me and I would just get extra wet!!! Now I think I have better luck getting my ownself wet :( I tried using toys with him... and it gets me pretty excited but without them we're nothing. I really like him and want to get all those feelings back because let me tell you our sex was beyond incredible... anytime, anywhere... man... those where the days. What are your thoughts?

Melly from Los Angeles

 Good evening Melly,

      I hear your problem and I definitely feel for you.  But I have to say that the very first thing that comes to mind is: are you still mentally into him?  Sometimes sex and the excitement that precedes or follows it is mental.  You said, "use to be".  Maybe you are still living in the past and memories can be deceiving.  It seems that since you have been able to introduce sex toys into the bedroom without him freaking out that you have good communication with him.  Have you talked to him about your problem or are you bringing the toys into bed on false pretenses?  Think back to the things he used to do to you back then and try to recreate them.  What toys are you guys using?  And if he is okay with it I would definitely have him try using a vibrating cock ring while you have sex.  This will wrap around the base of his penis (which will help him maintain an erection longer and prolong his orgasm) with a bullet shaped vibrator on top that will vibrate on your clit while he is inside you.  This can definitely help.  They are tons of fun and since they are small, they are less likely to intimidate him.  Please keep me up to date and let me know how it goes.  Good luck!

Hi there Crystal,

So... I have a boyfriend who is Italian... haha... and "yes"... he carries with him a BIG ONE!

Now, my prolem is that the last couple of times that we have had sex, without even getting rough or anything... I end up bleeding a bit!!! I just started to have a sexual relationship with this guy and i'm pretty bummed. He is full of pride and thinks it is great because it shows how "big" he is... but i'm not sure what to make of this?

I have never, EVER experienced this before and i'm getting a bit freaked out. Plus, If you ask me I think it is pretty gross and it kills the mood... I constantly worried that i'm going to be bleeding... I don't bleed a lot.. but just enough to cause me to freak out. Is he just too big?! Is there such a thing? Or should I just make a doctors appointment and get myself checked out?

- Isabella -

 

Hi there Isabella,

      Much to your boyfriend's dismay, I really don't believe that it has anything to do with his size.  There are many factors that can lead to vaginal bleeding during and after sex and they are all something that your doctor should be discussing with you.  It can be for reasons such as Fibroid Tumors, Uterine Polyps, endomitritis, cervical dysplasia or it can be a sign of an infection.  All of these conditions are treatable and although they are scary to you now, they are actually very common.  Please make yourself a doctor appointment and keep me posted via comments on this post or another email.  Thanks for your great question!

-Crystal

sup crystal

I've known my booty call since 2001 we even dated before we became each others booty call. He got some other girl pregnant while we were together and we stopped being each other's booty call for a while. My question is does me having feelings for my booty call normal? Because i see him with other girls and it gets me angry. He knows how to satisfy a girl and just thinking about him satisfying another girl that isn't me gets me mad. What do I do?

Anna
in Phoenix

 

What's up Anna,

      Great question, thanks for writing...One thing that stands out for me is the length of time you have been seeing this "booty call" as you name it.  To me, having a booty call for that long sounds more like a relationship to me.  Booty calls are supposed to come and go and get you over dry spells and what not.  Have you not had a serious relationship in 7 years?  It is very normal for a woman especially to start to harbor feelings for someone we are intimate with for this long of a time.  It's in our nature to be jealous and protective.  I wouldn't say it's a bad thing, but in a relationship where the feelings aren't reciprocated, it can lead to hurt.  And you are starting to see this already.  That's good that sex is great with him, but I say it's time to trade him in for a newer model.  Sex can be good with anyone if they are willing to learn and you are willing to teach.  If you know you and your "booty call's" relationship isn't gonna go anywhere, I suggest expanding your horizons...Hope this helps, feel free to write back.  Thank you so much!

 -Crystal