Crystal,
Wow! Thank you so much for the response. When I was writing I was half embarrassed, and half nervous for never really sending off such a plea for advice before concerning sex. I had a suspicion that what I sent was too short and not enough detail to actually get my situation down right. So, as you requested so eloquently, here is more information.
Before this woman I have never been with a girl who A. enjoys giving as much as she does receiving and B. wanted me to cum in her mouth. As I stated in my first e-mail, our sexual chemistry is out of this world as well as our openness to each other about what we like, dislike, pushes our buttons, gets us off and so forth. It is for all tense and purposes all there… except for my problem.
I do think at times it is a mental block of some sort because as you pointed out most of the previous woman I have been with, (ex-wife, past girlfriends) never was interested in fellatio. Sure, I would at times get the occasional token blow job, but that was about it. I also think it is a mental situation where like you said, I know she wants me to release in her mouth and so the pressure is on and that is what I think about even though I try not to. I don’t ever recall her voicing a statement that it is taking too long during the act. Sure we have discussed it just like we discuss many aspects of our sex but it has always been more of a productive conversation between the both of us discussing what we liked about so and so, or what didn’t work, or what we could change with something that didn’t seem to work that time.
This is what I or should I say we, because we have discussed this together, don’t understand. She was able to do it once but we have never been able to reproduce the same results. Let me emphasize so you can clearly understand. There are several occasions where it actually feels like I am blowing my load. When I stated previously that my eyes felt like they were rolling back into my skull that was how awesome it felt. Yet when she stops, me feeling like I had released she would inform me that I didn’t and I am left for a brief moment dumbfounded. She says there are such things as dry ejaculations, but she doesn’t think that is it for the simple fact that she knows when I actually ejaculate by my physical change both in twitching/pulsating of my penis and my breath or shortness of it.
As far as insecurity wise of my penis possibly being the problem, I would have to say no. While I am average in length and girth I know for a fact it gets the job done especially with her. I know, that really sounded conceded but it is the truth. I have had girls before who faked orgasms with me and this girl can’t do that. She is a squirter so it is really hard to fake that. You also asked if I have ever had any problems like this before with other woman and the answer is again no. She is the very first woman to ever bring me over the top with fallatio, even if it has been just once and that is what is frustrating to both of us. She did it once but for what ever reason hasn’t been able to do it again.
Your point about desensitization may also be a valid point, yet I have to go back to the times it felt like I was even though I wasn’t. She changes her methods during her giving me fellatio and yes at times she does it at a time where I feel I am almost there or she stops to give her self a rest and uses her hands to keep me stimulated. But then there are other times like I stated where I feel as if that is all I am doing is cuming but she doesn’t stop because I haven’t.
I hope this either brings out more questions and or gives you a better insight to draw other conclusions to help.

Retta I'm so glad you got back to me!  You left me wringing my mind all night trying to think if there was something better I could have told you.  And although you have given me an abundance of information in your latest comment, I think I can only help brainstorm with you and not necessarily yelp out, "Eureka I've got it!"  So let me start by addressing things in the order you gave them in your comment.  First let me ask the dumb, obvious question, when you have intercourse and have an orgasm are you ejaculating or is it also dry?  I'm fighting with myself because you start to say that you have never been with a woman who has enjoyed giving you head and furthermore wanted you to ejaculate into her mouth.  That is normally a red flag for me to say mental block for sure.  In that situation I would assume you are insecure that for once, if you let go, your fears may be realized and she may show her aversion or distaste of your semen in her mouth.  But what makes that theory not stick for me is the fact that you are building up to some feeling of joy and euphoria where even you are fooled by the fact that there is no semen involved.  With a mental block you don't get those feelings.  This same point also rules out the prospect that maybe she's just not getting you off orally but it seems like you are really enjoying these moments with her and you guys have great communication.  Point being, I hate reading sites and books by people who say that they are there to give you sex advice but every time you ask them a question they tell you to make a doctor appointment.  I don't normally want to do that but I do know that there are what the layperson has termed "dry orgasm" that are caused by your ejaculate being pushed back into your bladder instead of out your urethra.  Though this act itself cannot harm your health, it can be caused by such things as diabetes or certain drugs that are used to treat prostate enlargement like alpha blockers.  And between you and I, if you were on a prescription for enlarged prostate I'm sure you would have mentioned it.  In conclusion, what I'm wondering here is what are you missing?  If you are having a great sex life and you are feeling like you are having an orgasm and you are healthy, I would say leave it alone.  I know that actually getting the shooting, spurting cum shot can be fun, but if you guys love each other and are pleasing each other every other way possible I'd say que sera, sera.

I'm always here for more brainstorming...keep me informed!

Gold Adult Blogs

Hi Crystal,
Interesting blog you have, I commend you for your abilities and knowledge.
So, here is my situation. I have been dating a woman for 7 months now. Our sex life is awesome to say the least. We are very good chemistry wise when it comes to intercourse and me giving her cunnilingus. It is when she gives back orally that I am having a problem with. In the course of our relationship she has managed to make me cum orally only once. There have been several times where she has gotten me to the point of rolling my eyes back into my skull but to no avail I could not release even though it seem I was over and over again. I know she is on occasion disappointed that for what ever reason I can’t because the look in her eyes. Though she never says a thing and throws her ass in the air enticing me to finish I know she wants to bring me over the top orally. I am not a big fan of ball play, occasionally it is okay but it doesn’t do the trick either. Any help is appreciated.

Retta

Hi There Retta!

Thanks so much for the compliment, you have no idea what it means to me.  I totally sympathize with you in your case.  I was in a relationship like that for 6 years.  I am going to do my best to help you but you have to take into consideration that there is probably a barrage of questions I would ask if we were having a conversation in real time.  But I am going to bring up two ideas that immediately came to mind as I was reading your email.  The very first thing was - mental block.  Are you somehow inhibited, in your mind, from wanting to have an orgasm?  I know it sounds nuts but it could be the simplest thing like you are insecure of your penis, the size, color, smell, taste.  Or maybe one time a thousand years ago on a date she told you she doesn't like to swallow so every time you get close your subconscious gives you a guilt trip and you stop yourself.  Have you ever had problems with anyone else?  It doesn't sound like it.  Maybe one of the very first times she ever tried to make you orgasm from fellatio she mentioned something like "gosh it's taking a long time" or "I'm getting tired" so now every time she goes down on you, you are doing the "oh god please hurry up and cum, oh god please hurry up and cum" thing that so many of us do and it's just fucks everything up for us anyway.  You have to tell me more, please.  The other thing I think that I know has happened to me (just like the above scenario) is that the person giving doesn't exactly know what you like or even how to do it right and so they do the same thing over and over and over and over, and it isn't really enough stimulation to get your over that hump, passed the point of no return.  Istead, their repetitive movements in a way, desensitizes your penis and so you never can get there.  I know for sure I've had that done to me, I've even done it to myself.  Or maybe she is doing the same thing over and over and just as you are peaking, she needs a break, so she stops the rhythm and there you go, you are back to square one, which means she is back to square one, which equals everyone being frustrated.  Oh Retta, I feel for you.  I had a man once tell me with his head still between my legs, "You take too long" and from that day on every time he would make his way down there, my eyes would be glued to my digital alarm clock trying to time when I should tell him to just come back up, that it wasn't going to happen today.  Please don't let this happen to you.  Please help me help you figure out what is going on.  Email me again or post comments to this post so I can get more info from you.  Thanks so much for sharing with me.

 -Crystal

Hello Everyone!

     I sat here tonight looking over the blogs I’ve received and I’m so happy to have readers write in.  Don't think it has to be a question necessarily for you guys to post.  Even comments, reviews, opinions, thoughts...nonsense and blather are happily accepted, also.  All the questions are great and I have so much fun helping with my experience and knowledge.  One thing that I am disappointed about is the lack of men that will write in.  Women, are you seeing a pattern here?  Women are always complaining that men don’t understand us.  Isn’t it because there is a lack of communication?  Maybe a fear that if men ask questions that you will look dumb or inexperienced?  Come on guys!  Just because you have been with one woman doesn’t mean the next woman is gonna be the same.  You could be with a thousand women and you still won't know half the things the one you just met tonight might like.  And let me tell you guys, if you are doing to woman #2 all the things woman #1 liked I can guarantee you that 75% of what you are doing, she ain’t liking!  We are all different.  Ask, learn, delve into sex information and eat it up while you can!  We are all so different!  I’m sure there are a gazillion of you guys out there right now scratching your little five o’clock shadows wondering why if when you flicked Sheila's clit from side to side it would give her a back-breaking orgasm; but when you do it to Lisa, she lays there like a dead fish….Sex Advice By Crystal to the rescue!  You know why Lisa is laying there like a dead fish?  Because you didn’t whisper your hot, warm breath over her pussy while you were flicking it sideways and ask her if she liked it this way….or (flicking your tongue up and down on her clit) do you like it better this way?  Or maybe Theresa, who you had over last night, likes it when you put two fingers in her pussy and massage her g-spot with that ever so important “come over here” motion with your fingers.  I know!  Jackie likes it when you put a thumb in her pussy and work your forefinger into her ass and pretend you are rubbing your two fingers together while you suck on her clit, giving her girl head.  See!  We are all different…(but you can do all of the above to me and make me throw my back out!)  My point is guys…ask questions.  It doesn’t have to be scientific; I’m not telling you to take out a pen and paper.  Just try things, watch for our reactions.  If you are too embarrassed to ask her, ask me.  I will do my best to lead you in the right direction.  Sometimes by trying different things you can teach us stuff about us we never knew and in return blow our minds.  Then we will really be on your jock....and more willing to return the favor.    ;-)            

- Crystal

Crystal,

I'm 17 years old and came accross your page and think it's cool how open people are with you and the advice is pretty cool.

So, my problem well I don't know if it is a problem but I really don't like to eat my girl out or any girl. I think it is sick and when i'm down there I really don't know what the fuck to do.... she says: "More, more... suck it, bite it... and I'm like FUCK THIS SHIT... well in my thoughts anyway... am I the only guy that thinks this shit is nasty? Not only does pussy have a weird ass smell, but man it's all wet and fuck, thinking about it makes me want to throw up. I don't know what to do, she loves it and it is my biggest turn off and makes me want to vomit. Then to top it of she put some melon kiwi slices on that shit and expected me to eat that up!? OH HELL NO! I fucken ran out the door and haven't seen her since. Am I too young to value "pussy".. or do guys just go for it because they feel forced but really agree with me on this one? Cuz no perfume, topping or brazilian wax can make me want to eat that shit.

Thanks

Mat from Rolling Hills

     There are so many things I want to say...where do I start?  Okay first, don't feel bad that you are a little put off and confused by the whole cunnilingus (eating pussy) thing.  It is somewhat of an acquired taste.  I've known guys that swore they would never do it...ew, ugh, grody!  And then all of a sudden, with a little coaxing, a little practice and then the realization that it could make me climb the walls backwards, now I can't get their head out from between my legs!  So enough about me...let's get to the facts and opinions and stuff.  Being young I am assuming that the girl you are going down on is young.  Are you sure she is cleaning up right down there?  Pussy should smell and taste like pussy but I don’t know if it should make you want to vomit!  When she tells you she is “in the mood” and you know she is gonna want some of your fantastic tongue action, suggest a bird bath.  You know, going into the bathroom and tidying up a bit, in the nether regions.  That way if you are somewhere that a shower isn’t convenient you can still have yourself some fresh pussy.  Or try it with a breath mint in your mouth.  It should mask the taste way better than those flavor lubes and it has been told to give mind blowing orgasms.  And if you need some tips on actually performing oral sex on her I would give you two very strong suggestions: one, if you aren’t enjoying what you are doing, she is going to be able to tell and therefore also won’t enjoy herself.  And two, the only person who can tell you how to eat her pussy right is your girlfriend, but that doesn’t mean she should turn into a drill sergeant.  Ask her to be a little more positively motivating when you are done there.  Ask her to tell you when you are doing something right, not point out when you are doing something wrong.  For example, instead of saying, “hey man, why’d you slow down?”  Or “Stop pressing ramming your finger in so hard!”  She might turn it into, “Mmm baby when you were flicking your tongue real fast a minute ago I about lost my mind.”  Or, “when you were moving your finger around nice and slow a second ago it was like heaven.”  That is way more likely to make you wanna do the right thing, hearing someone coo into your ear that you are doing something RIGHT is the ultimate turn on.  If you still need help, I can suggest some wonderful toys that can aid you in your oral endeavors.  The Tongue Teaser oro stimulator is a fun little sleeve you slip on over your tongue and you can use it to lick all over her pussy and send her to a vibrating climax.  There is also the Tongue Joy vibrating tongue ring that slips over your tongue and has a bullet shaped vibrator attached.  Have fun!  Keep me posted!

-Crystal