We all know that there was some heavy sexual tension between Mulder and Scully as we sat holding our breath during every X-Files episode.  But did we ever think it was possible for Mulder to be a sex addict?!  Hell no!  So maybe he and Scully were really gettin’ it on behind the scenes, between scenes and even after the scenes were over…we will never know.

With David Duchovny’s new cry for help as a sex addict, it has been bringing up a lot of questions regarding what makes someone a sex addict.  When you get to the real definition of what a sex addict is, it seems pretty serious.  Is this Duchovny’s way of getting some publicity, or is he as really serious as the disease itself?  Let’s define sex addiction.

A sex addict is someone who can answer yes to more than a couple of these questions:  

1. Do you keep secrets about your sexual or romantic activities from those important to you? Do you lead a double life?

2. Have your needs driven you to have sex in places or situations or with people you would not normally choose?

3. Do you find yourself looking for sexually arousing articles or scenes in newspapers, magazines, or other media?

4. Do you find that romantic or sexual fantasies interfere with your relationships or are preventing you from facing problems?

5. Do you frequently want to get away from a sex partner after having sex? Do you frequently feel remorse, shame, or guilt after a sexual encounter?

6. Do you feel shame about your body or your sexuality, such that you avoid touching your body or engaging in sexual relationships? Do you fear that you have no sexual feelings, that you are asexual?

7. Does each new relationship continue to have the same destructive patterns which prompted you to leave the last relationship?

8. Is it taking more variety and frequency of sexual and romantic activities than previously to bring the same levels of excitement and relief?

9. Have you ever been arrested or are you in danger of being arrested because of your practices of voyeurism, exhibitionism, prostitution, sex with minors, indecent phone calls, etc.?

10. Does your pursuit of sex or romantic relationships interfere with your spiritual beliefs or development?

11. Do your sexual activities include the risk, threat, or reality of disease, pregnancy, coercion, or violence?

12. Has your sexual or romantic behavior ever left you feeling hopeless, alienated from others, or suicidal?

The National Council on Sexual Addiction and Compulsivity has defined sexual addiction as “engaging in persistent and escalating patterns of sexual behavior acted out despite increasing negative consequences to self and others.”  The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Psychiatric Disorders, Volume Four says sex addiction also involves “compulsive searching for multiple partners, compulsive fixation on an unattainable partner, compulsive masturbation, compulsive love relationships and compulsive sexuality in a relationship.”So what do you think?  Are you a sex addict?  Leave comments, I’m curious to know how many of us are scratching our heads right now…

What up Crystal!

So, straight to the point here. I am fucking 3 guys right now... and though i'm loving it i'm starting to wonder if it really is as bad as it sounds? They are steady guys, and I basically fuck one of them at least once a week. We are using protection, ALL THE TIME - but do you think this is a nasty habit to have? I like all three of them and really don't want to give up anyone of them... call me greedy but I love my men and want to keep it this way. Each one has something I really like... and what one doesn't have the other 2 will make up for! I just recently noticed that I'm becoming a bit of a bitch during sex... sometimes I forget that the guy i'm fucking isn't the same one that knows exactly where to touch me... and I get really mad... then i'm like okay... you're not the one.. in my mind... So i'm kind of in debate with myself right now... my sex life is suffering from having 3 guys but at the same time, I don't want to give any of them up... I have to make a decision... and I know guys play girls all the time so why isn't it that easy for me to do now.. how the fuck do they do it? HELP!?


Cassie from O.C.

 Hey Cassie from the O.C.!

     Thanks for being so outspoken...makes my job fun!  So I see your dilemma and I tend to seesaw on these issues.  I am one for being an independent strong woman, guys have used us for sex vessels for so long and it's taken hundreds of years for women to finally recognize sex isn't just for them.  I don't necessarily think there is anything wrong with being intimate with more than one guy at a time in a period of your life.  Guys sure as hell aren't only with one girl at a time.  And they get high-fived for that.  And I commend you for protecting yourself during sex.  Everyone should be and I'm sure the guys appreciate that too.  But like everything, moderation is key and sometimes juggling that many guys gets complicated.  I can see where you start to get things mixed and up confused.  But these guys don't deserve you bitching at them because you confused Tom with Dick and Dick with Harry.  If it were me, I would try to whiddle it down, is there anything attractive about these guys other than sex?  Maybe with one of the guys you have a better connection...You both like Dances with the Stars or going to the movies together...I would rather spend more time trying to teach one guy the things that the other guys are doing right, then spread myself thin trying to get a little here and a little there.  Put some effort into it and see where it goes.  I hope this has helped and please update me and let me know how things are going.

 -Crystal