Dear Crystal,                                                                     

      I was told about your page from a girlfriend of mine and I think it's great.  I'm writing because I have a problem that I am hoping isn't rare enough that you won't have dealt with it before.  I have inverted nipples and I'm tired of hiding them.  Whenever I date someone new it's the typical "lights out sex" for a while until they finally say something.  Then when the lights come on I'm constantly trying to hide them when he's on top by kinda covering them with my forearms while I rub his chest, or pressing my body to his real close so he can't see them.  God forbid the men I sleep with ask me to undress for them, on the rare occassion I have to turn my back when I take my bra off and them when I slide the cups off kinda nonchalantly pinch them real hard so that they will stay out and erect long enough for me to make it over to my man and start the "hide the nipples" dance again.  Ugh, I'm sick of it!  I've seen doctors to see if it can be fixed and they say it can but it starts at $1200 for the surgery!  What can you suggest if anything!!!!!!

 Anonymous in Agoura

Hello Anonymous in Agoura,

     Well I guess I can skip all the medical chat on why your nipples are inverted being that you have already been to see a plastic surgeon.  But for any other readers that are interested; the inversion is caused by an adhesion or a band of tissue connecting your breast tissue to the nipple tissue that is too tight.  But don't fret, plastic surgery isn't the only way to cure this.  You hit the nail on the head when you said you can get them to temporarily protract, or become erect.  If it is possible to do that, you can fix them with time.  One thing to do for starters is to pinch and stimulate and pull the nipple out anytime you can.  If you are sitting watching TV do it a couple times, do it in the shower, do it while you sit on the toilet.  Whenever you can without getting arrested for indecent exposure!  The other thing is have your boyfriend or male partners suck and chew on them too, any stimulus will help loosen or stretch out the band of tissue that is too tight right now.  Another really convenient and kinky thing that can spice up your sex life is buying some nipple stimulators.  There are all kinds of things you can purchase that will be fun, exciting and beautiful.  There are nipple clamps, nipple suckers, nipple jewelry and even creams you can rub on them that will help keep them erect.  All of these things above if practiced often will make it so that your nipples are more present than not.  There will still be times when wearing a tight bra all day will smash them flat again, but with a quick pinch or use of these toys above and they will be standing at attention in no time at all!  Have fun, I hope I help you, no one deserves to be insecure in the bedroom.  If you care about these guys and they care about you, the way your nipples look won't even matter.  If you trust your man, be open with him and I'm sure he will be more than willing to help!

 -Crystal

Hello Everyone!

     I sat here tonight looking over the blogs I’ve received and I’m so happy to have readers write in.  Don't think it has to be a question necessarily for you guys to post.  Even comments, reviews, opinions, thoughts...nonsense and blather are happily accepted, also.  All the questions are great and I have so much fun helping with my experience and knowledge.  One thing that I am disappointed about is the lack of men that will write in.  Women, are you seeing a pattern here?  Women are always complaining that men don’t understand us.  Isn’t it because there is a lack of communication?  Maybe a fear that if men ask questions that you will look dumb or inexperienced?  Come on guys!  Just because you have been with one woman doesn’t mean the next woman is gonna be the same.  You could be with a thousand women and you still won't know half the things the one you just met tonight might like.  And let me tell you guys, if you are doing to woman #2 all the things woman #1 liked I can guarantee you that 75% of what you are doing, she ain’t liking!  We are all different.  Ask, learn, delve into sex information and eat it up while you can!  We are all so different!  I’m sure there are a gazillion of you guys out there right now scratching your little five o’clock shadows wondering why if when you flicked Sheila's clit from side to side it would give her a back-breaking orgasm; but when you do it to Lisa, she lays there like a dead fish….Sex Advice By Crystal to the rescue!  You know why Lisa is laying there like a dead fish?  Because you didn’t whisper your hot, warm breath over her pussy while you were flicking it sideways and ask her if she liked it this way….or (flicking your tongue up and down on her clit) do you like it better this way?  Or maybe Theresa, who you had over last night, likes it when you put two fingers in her pussy and massage her g-spot with that ever so important “come over here” motion with your fingers.  I know!  Jackie likes it when you put a thumb in her pussy and work your forefinger into her ass and pretend you are rubbing your two fingers together while you suck on her clit, giving her girl head.  See!  We are all different…(but you can do all of the above to me and make me throw my back out!)  My point is guys…ask questions.  It doesn’t have to be scientific; I’m not telling you to take out a pen and paper.  Just try things, watch for our reactions.  If you are too embarrassed to ask her, ask me.  I will do my best to lead you in the right direction.  Sometimes by trying different things you can teach us stuff about us we never knew and in return blow our minds.  Then we will really be on your jock....and more willing to return the favor.    ;-)            

- Crystal

Dear Sex Advice,   

   I've been with my boyfriend for two years.  I'm in my early 20's and he's in his late 40's.  Yes, I know, big age difference.  So who cares?  My concern is that since the day we first had sex until today, he loses his hard on inside me.  When we start our sex play he gets hard, that part works fine.  But he can't maintain it.  Well, I should say that, sometimes he can, but when he wants to cum he has to pull it out (of my mouth/ass/pussy) and jack off.  And when he does I can tell he's kinda semi you know?  There have been maybe 4 times total that he has been able to finish in me.  I really don't think it's age because he isn't the oldest guy I've been with.  I've heard a lot about cock rings and he is really REALLY open to sex toys, but how come he's never purchased one himself?  We have never really talked about his maintaining problem but I know we both are aware of it, I mean HELLO!  But since it's the one thing we've never really talked about I'd feel weird just showing up with a cock ring for him.  Either way, I will stay with him, sex is great, fantastic even.  He's one crazy dude, but there are days when my self esteem isn't soaring that I still feel like if only I was hotter, or if I was only doing something that felt better, maybe he could cum in me.  Do you have any words of wisdom?

 Hanging Out with Mr. 50/50 Bar, Van Nuys, CA 

Hello Mrs. 50/50 Bar,

     Great question, it's not you.  Let me just say that over and over.  There are a number of reasons he could be going limp, you know, all the medical stuff...smoking, alcohol, diabetes, vascular problems.  So on and so forth.  But I think if you wanted medical help you would have just googled impotence.  It's hard to get someone to go to a doctor if they can't even talk to you about their problem.  I feel for you, it's kind of uncomfortable.  But being that he is with a woman who says, "who cares, I love him anyway" is great.  And how luck he is to be with a 20-something!  So you are here for a reason.  You want a homemade, sexy cure for your man's noodle.  He sounds like a fun and kinky guy, so I would tell him something to the effect of "you would look really sexy in one of those cock rings with all the studs and spikes on it..."  Or if that is too far fetched you could say, "Baby let's try one of those cock rings that has a clit stimulator on it and see how many times I can cum!"  Or maybe the next time you guys are in a sex shop together just pick out a plain old metal one and tell him you think his cock and balls would look sexy in one.  That they are manly and they turn you on.  Those will definitely help because you said he can definitely GET hard, just not STAY hard.  Cock rings trap the blood inside the penis once it's already there.  Make sure you get the right size too, a ring that is too small won't let any of the blood that it has trapped in, back out.  And although a hard on for hours on end sounds like fun initally, it will definitely end in an embarrassing trip to the emergency room.  At some point a trip to the doctor will come up, give it time, until then there are a plethora of erection aids to try.  It will give you guys all kinds of excuses to make new toy purchases.  Have fun and keep me posted!  Hope this helped.

 Hi Crystal,

Jennifer is Ashville, NC

Hey Jennifer!

     Great question, I totally feel for you, I’ve got my own old trusty vibrator that I am attached to but I always have to de-lint-ify it before I use it too.  I have two solutions for you.  One, if you are really attached to it for some reason you don’t have to get rid of it.  You could simply slip a condom over it every time you use it.  But if you and your boyfriend have been together for a long time and are maybe not into the condom thing too much I totally understand.  I am not too excited about using condoms over my toys, hell, they are mine and no one else inserts them into their bodies!  Two, you could ditch the old jelly/rubber/silicone (which ever it is) one you are using and get one that is smooth like a glass butt plug.  My butt plug is glass and I love it.  As long as you inspect it each time before use, it is totally safe.  Most glass sex toys are made of Pyrex or shatter-proof glass and there is also Lucite or acrylic.  They are also really cool because you can boil them to disinfect or put them in your dishwasher!  They also retain body heat really well so if your little booty doesn’t like the cold you can warm it up with your hands or warm water first; or if you do like cold sensations you can safely stick it in the refrigerator.  The possibilities are endless.

-Crystal

Hi Crystal,

      I'm hoping you can help me out with this one...my boyfriend keeps talking about this thing called "Rush" and how great it is.  He tells me that if we do it while we are having sex it will amplify the experience to like a thousand fold.  We already have good sex but he is a lot more hip to these kinds of things and I don't really know anything about it.  I've wikipedia'd it but it's so scientific, it's not like a friend telling you what it's like.  It sounds interesting, but I used to have a drug problem and I'm proud to be clean and sober for 3 years.  What if this brings all my urges back?  What if I like it so much I'm gonna wanna do it all the time?  Can you tell me anything about it?  I appreciate it...

 Clean and Sober in the Phoenix area...

Hey Clean and Sober! 

      First let me commend you in conquering your drug addiction!  Hooray!  As for your question, I will give you pertinent info on the drug and then give your down to earth info.  Rush or poppers is Amyl Nitrite.  Like you probably read on Wiki, it was first made to help people with angina.  It became popular as a recreational drug in the 70's by homosexuals as the rush of the drug causes your body to relax; for homosexuals this was helpful because it helped relax the sphincter muscles.  Later, it became popular with heterosexuals as it gives a short, acute, sharp high that can intensify sex.  Some people say it makes orgasms seem more intense and makes your genitals seem Herculean!  As far as your concern with it making you want to do drugs again or become addicted, there have never been reports of addiction.  People don't seem to have a problem just using them every once in a while.  Beware though that many people experience the mother of all headaches after.  And as far as dangers, don't by any means, use these if you have low blood pressure, circulatory problems, heart problems or breathing problems as it dilates your veins and arteries.  Another thing I would warn you is to make sure you use it with someone you trust as the high can make you make uninhibited decisions.  If you and your boyfriend are practicing safe sex, don't use it until you already have the condom on as you might get a case of the "fuck its" when using Rush.  How does it look or how does it come?  It comes in a glass vial, usually very small and when you open it up the liquid turns into fumes when it hits the air.  It has found a legal loophole and as long as it isn't being sold as an inhalant (you would need a prescription for that) it can be bought legally.  Most sex and adult stores carry them as room odourisors.  They can come under the moniker of Rush, TNT, Thrust, RockHard, Liquid Gold and probably many other names.  Most importantly, I wanna end this post by saying don't ever do anything you aren't comfortable with.  If you aren't comfortable with using Rush or you are scared, don't do it.  Not for him, not for anybody.  If he cares about you, it won't disappoint him that you don't.  If you do end up doing it, just make sure you are in good health and some where you are safe with someone you are safe with.  Good luck!

Hi Crystal,

      I think my question is probably really straight forward and easy.  I have anal sex off and on with a couple people and it was always few and far in between and only if I was drinking or inebriated somehow, which made it easier.  Now I am in a long term relationship with someone I love a lot and plan on being with for a long, long time, if not forever...I'm the first person he's ever had anal sex with and of course fell in love but it's not something he asks for too often but when he does ask, I like to give it to him.  My only dilemma is that being clean and sober, well taking his cock up my ass isn't exactly the easiest feat to contend with.  He isn't packing like a 12" dick or anything but he is above average and I am finding it harder and harder to let him in there.  Recently I got over my fear of trying what the experts say about pushing out a little while he is trying to push in, kinda like you gotta go to the bathroom.  I noticed that made things way easier, but one thing that I need help with is that baby oil works well for me but he says it is a little abrasive on his dick.  Is there a different lube you can recommend that will be thick enough that he doesn't wanna slide in too fast but that won't hurt him?  I appreciate your help...

 -Amanda

Hey Amanda, thanks for writing!  You are right, that is a relatively easy question to answer.  But it's not exaclty straight forward...I can give you some suggestions and then you will just have to chose whatever is best for you from trial and error.  The first thing I would recommend is for you to try out a silicone-based lubricant like Vivid Girl.  They don't dry up because they aren't primarily made of water.  They are also condom compatible but it doesn't sound like you guys are using condoms.  They do require soap and water for clean up though.  They are usually very thick and stay slick for a long time.  The other thing is the baby oil you are using is leaving an oily residue that can coat your rectum and lead to bacterial infections.  Don't want any of those in your booty.  And the last thing I want to mention, although you may not feel you need it but for my other readers that have this same question; there are the lubes that have desensitizing agents in them to help ease into the anal sex world.  Products like Anal Eze and and Tush Eze.  These types of lubes have Benzocaine in them to help numb the anal area and are required to work into the area a few minutes before penetration.  The only thing with these lubes is that you want to make sure he is wearing a condom or else his cock will also be desensitized and then he'll be ramming that little tight ass of yours all night!  Ouch!  Thanks for writing, let me know what works!  And have fun...

 -Crystal