Hi Crystal,

Well, I am in a relationship with a guy who is pretty much super cool and we have tons of fun.

I really like him but, now I'm a little dissapointed. It turns out that he has a super small dick. There, I said it! It is so small that I can't even tell if it is inside or not! It is one of those things you know, he is so cute and awesome but his package is just not doing him any justice. God has cursed him! If I get on top of him I kind of feel it, but still it is pretty annoying you know. I don't know what alternatives there are in this case. I'm not breaking up with him over this, but I could use some suggestions. It is so bad that I can't even bring myself to give him head! I think his balls are bigger! It is a sad - sad- thing...

Thanks in advance,

Lynn from San Fransisco, CA

Good evening Lynn,

     Ooh...ouch!  That's a sensitive subject but it's good to know you are willing to talk about it and willing to stick around.  My first and most important question is does he know how you feel about his size?  Does he know you are frustrated.  It's very important to not make him feel like he's less of a man or like it's his doing that you aren't being satisfied.  I know that actual penetration is a very important part of sex with someone...but it's not everything.  One, I hope he's going down on you or manually stimulating you.  If not, take more time to please each other orally.  Try to focus more on foreplay with him.  Let him know how fun you think it is and how much it turns you on.  But you have to be willing to return the favor and do for him what he likes.  And it sounds like you really like him so I'm sure you will be.  Now here is the other thing, I don't know what age you guys are or how mature he is, but if he isn't in denial about his short-comings in the nether regions (excuse the pun) then there are lots of things you can try.  You can get him penis extensions to try.  There are penis extensions that you strap on that will give him length and girth and there are also strapless extensions that actually roll on like a condom.  He can also utilize a penis pump and see if that helps.  Once guys get over the fact that is them, the way they are, nothing he can change, many men with small cocks are totally turned on by seeing your reactions (facial and audible) when you take something big inside you.  Maybe you can get a dildo and let him use that on you sometimes too.  There is also the option of him getting a strap on harness and you can pick out a dildo to go with it.  That way you still get the intimacy of sexual positions and he can still thrust, not just hold it and ram it in you.  But I want to stress how important it is to bring these things up lightly.  Not make him feel bad and keep reminding him how much you want to please him too.  I hope this helps Lynn.  Keep me updated with comments if you would like. 

Greetings Crystal,

I am going away on a trip for a couple of months and my boyfriend isn't too happy about it. Of course the sex will be missed. I want to get him a little gift before I go. Do you think a pocket pussy will help him get through the drought that is coming his way? What can you recommend? I'm pretty sure we will be having phone sex so I want to get him something that will make that experience more realistic. I'm too shy to walk into a porn store and ask around! So, if you can also recommend a web site that offers a variety of options that would be so appreciated.

Thank you,

Bella from Chicago

Hey Bella!

     You are too sweet!  Every guy should have a girl like you!  How fun, I can think of lots of stuff...but what about for you?  One thing that I think is great for lovers but you have to give it to him before he goes is a Make Your Own Pussy and Make Your Own Dick kits.  They are so fun, you can help each other make an exact mold of your parts!  Then you can ride his dick all night long while you have phone sex and he can tear your pussy up just like if you were together!  But if you don't have time for that, body mold masturbators are always fun.  They are super soft and realistic-feeling molds of body parts like pussies, asses and mouths.  He slips his cock into them just like a cock sleeve and the other end is open so when he nuts off, it's easy clean up.  Make sure to get him lots of lube too.  I attached links and pics for you so the shopping will be easy.  Hope he has a great trip (wink, wink).

Haha... can't believe i'm on here but fuck it, I see other cats here too.

So, Crystal I know this girl who of course is fucken hot and a while back we dated but I was traveling a lot and I come back and she now has a dick for a boyfriend. I have tried to get her to go out with me a million times but she is so fucken loyal to that cunt and she either won't return my e-mails or just replies with something gay like, Hey Kid how r you and that's it. I don't even have her number, she changed it again...

My plan is to show up at her place and not take no for an answer and take her back to her favorite old place... MY house. Then maybe we will have a chance to talk and I can prove to her that this fucken ass that she has as a boyfriend is a fucken idiot and she needs to fucken come back to me. I have heard stories about this ass wipe and I know she could be happier with me. We never had sex but it was going there and I need to hear it from a gal's point of view (like you... a complete stranger) what your views are on this? I could easily move on and be with any other chick but this gal is my heart and she is fucken hot and sweet and what fucken makes me mad is that I know she will bend over backwards for her ass wipe boyfriend and most likely he won't even care... I admit it I let her go but i'm back and funny thing is that I hope you post this message and she reads it. Hopefully you help me out and agree with me on this one.

Peace "desperate for her" from Irvine

Hey there Desperate for Her,

     My initial reaction would be to say, "Whoa Nellie!"  You sound so angry.  You are gonna scare this chick before you even have a chance to woo her with your affections.  I would definitely steer you away from "not taking no for an answer".  That is a bad idea.  When she wanted you, you were unavailable.  Now that you are back, you can't just stomp into someone's life and demand attention.  What kind of emails have you been sending her?  I bet your emails are just as general as hers.  Why don't you tell her how you feel?  Women love to hear that guys actually have feelings too.  And if this guy is as much of a jerk as you say, then in no time she will be left in the dust needing some kind words and a shoulder to cry on.  And here you come, her knight in shining armor.  Be patient, if it was meant to be, it will be.  Stomping into her life and creating problems for her will only piss her off and there go your chances for sure.  Hope this helps.

-Crystal

Hi there Crystal,

So here is my problem, if you can call it that. I am currently dating a pretty cool guy and I'm happy with him but lately my best friend and I have become sooooooooo close. "SHE" is amazing, "YES", she is. I think she is super hot and really sweet and I'm starting to look at her in a whole new different way. I have never felt this way towards any girl. I have always been into guys and now I find myself day dreaming of my best friend! I see here and my heart just melts, I always want to be with her and we are super close. We onced shared a very quick kiss back in H.S. but only because they dared us and we where buzz. I remember that day but I honestly don't recall feeling anything for her. Now, is a whole new story. I get so turned on by her, I picture myself kissing her and licking her tits and all this random crap. I don't know what to do??? She is also currently dating someone and lately, she has been spending more time with him and it is driving me nuts. I want to tell her how I feel but it might just end our friendship, I know she isn't into girls... I mean she has experimented but that is as far as it has gone. She told me nothing beats a "dick"... and I use to agree until I started to fall for her out of no where. What should I do? Even if she was up for it and wanted to experiment with me this time, I wouldn't know what to do to her, I mean this is all new. Suggestions? Leave it alone? Go for it?

Kim from Encino

Hi Kim,

      Thanks for writing.  That is definitely a tough one but it's a very normal feeling.  Many girls, especially your age start to experiment with their fantasies and with their friends.  Don't worry, it doesn't make you a lesbian, just feeling some strong emotions for her.  I'm gonna answer your questions as questions and not necessarily advice, I'm not horribly good with "relationship" advice.  One, if you were to mess around with her, what would happen with your boyfriend?  How serious of a relationship are you in and is messing around with her worth possibly losing him?  Two, the kiss you shared in high school is something lots of kids do, it doesn't mean she is sitting there in bed every night thinking about it like you do.  It's no big deal, she may have even forgot it.  Three, I will tell you though that if you guys are getting really close there is a possibility just by human nature that more experimenting may take place.  Especially were alcohol is present (hint, hint).  Another thing is, if nothing beats a dick, go buy one!  Seriously, you can get any shape, length, color dildo you want.  You can even get a double penetrating dildo too so both of you can wriggle around together.  Two women having sex can always have penetration any time they need it.  It's not just guys that can give it to us.  Try a strap on dildo and fuck her like a real man if she wants it more realistic.  Now your most important question is, do you leave it alone or pursue.  I would have to say she never gave you any reason to think she was interested, so if you value her friendship at all, let her start to become interested in you first before you push her away.  If you lose her, you lose twice...a good friend and a love interest.  Hope this was helpful in some ways.

 -Crystal

Crystal,

I'm 17 years old and came accross your page and think it's cool how open people are with you and the advice is pretty cool.

So, my problem well I don't know if it is a problem but I really don't like to eat my girl out or any girl. I think it is sick and when i'm down there I really don't know what the fuck to do.... she says: "More, more... suck it, bite it... and I'm like FUCK THIS SHIT... well in my thoughts anyway... am I the only guy that thinks this shit is nasty? Not only does pussy have a weird ass smell, but man it's all wet and fuck, thinking about it makes me want to throw up. I don't know what to do, she loves it and it is my biggest turn off and makes me want to vomit. Then to top it of she put some melon kiwi slices on that shit and expected me to eat that up!? OH HELL NO! I fucken ran out the door and haven't seen her since. Am I too young to value "pussy".. or do guys just go for it because they feel forced but really agree with me on this one? Cuz no perfume, topping or brazilian wax can make me want to eat that shit.

Thanks

Mat from Rolling Hills

     There are so many things I want to say...where do I start?  Okay first, don't feel bad that you are a little put off and confused by the whole cunnilingus (eating pussy) thing.  It is somewhat of an acquired taste.  I've known guys that swore they would never do it...ew, ugh, grody!  And then all of a sudden, with a little coaxing, a little practice and then the realization that it could make me climb the walls backwards, now I can't get their head out from between my legs!  So enough about me...let's get to the facts and opinions and stuff.  Being young I am assuming that the girl you are going down on is young.  Are you sure she is cleaning up right down there?  Pussy should smell and taste like pussy but I don’t know if it should make you want to vomit!  When she tells you she is “in the mood” and you know she is gonna want some of your fantastic tongue action, suggest a bird bath.  You know, going into the bathroom and tidying up a bit, in the nether regions.  That way if you are somewhere that a shower isn’t convenient you can still have yourself some fresh pussy.  Or try it with a breath mint in your mouth.  It should mask the taste way better than those flavor lubes and it has been told to give mind blowing orgasms.  And if you need some tips on actually performing oral sex on her I would give you two very strong suggestions: one, if you aren’t enjoying what you are doing, she is going to be able to tell and therefore also won’t enjoy herself.  And two, the only person who can tell you how to eat her pussy right is your girlfriend, but that doesn’t mean she should turn into a drill sergeant.  Ask her to be a little more positively motivating when you are done there.  Ask her to tell you when you are doing something right, not point out when you are doing something wrong.  For example, instead of saying, “hey man, why’d you slow down?”  Or “Stop pressing ramming your finger in so hard!”  She might turn it into, “Mmm baby when you were flicking your tongue real fast a minute ago I about lost my mind.”  Or, “when you were moving your finger around nice and slow a second ago it was like heaven.”  That is way more likely to make you wanna do the right thing, hearing someone coo into your ear that you are doing something RIGHT is the ultimate turn on.  If you still need help, I can suggest some wonderful toys that can aid you in your oral endeavors.  The Tongue Teaser oro stimulator is a fun little sleeve you slip on over your tongue and you can use it to lick all over her pussy and send her to a vibrating climax.  There is also the Tongue Joy vibrating tongue ring that slips over your tongue and has a bullet shaped vibrator attached.  Have fun!  Keep me posted!

-Crystal

What up Crystal!

So, straight to the point here. I am fucking 3 guys right now... and though i'm loving it i'm starting to wonder if it really is as bad as it sounds? They are steady guys, and I basically fuck one of them at least once a week. We are using protection, ALL THE TIME - but do you think this is a nasty habit to have? I like all three of them and really don't want to give up anyone of them... call me greedy but I love my men and want to keep it this way. Each one has something I really like... and what one doesn't have the other 2 will make up for! I just recently noticed that I'm becoming a bit of a bitch during sex... sometimes I forget that the guy i'm fucking isn't the same one that knows exactly where to touch me... and I get really mad... then i'm like okay... you're not the one.. in my mind... So i'm kind of in debate with myself right now... my sex life is suffering from having 3 guys but at the same time, I don't want to give any of them up... I have to make a decision... and I know guys play girls all the time so why isn't it that easy for me to do now.. how the fuck do they do it? HELP!?


Cassie from O.C.

 Hey Cassie from the O.C.!

     Thanks for being so outspoken...makes my job fun!  So I see your dilemma and I tend to seesaw on these issues.  I am one for being an independent strong woman, guys have used us for sex vessels for so long and it's taken hundreds of years for women to finally recognize sex isn't just for them.  I don't necessarily think there is anything wrong with being intimate with more than one guy at a time in a period of your life.  Guys sure as hell aren't only with one girl at a time.  And they get high-fived for that.  And I commend you for protecting yourself during sex.  Everyone should be and I'm sure the guys appreciate that too.  But like everything, moderation is key and sometimes juggling that many guys gets complicated.  I can see where you start to get things mixed and up confused.  But these guys don't deserve you bitching at them because you confused Tom with Dick and Dick with Harry.  If it were me, I would try to whiddle it down, is there anything attractive about these guys other than sex?  Maybe with one of the guys you have a better connection...You both like Dances with the Stars or going to the movies together...I would rather spend more time trying to teach one guy the things that the other guys are doing right, then spread myself thin trying to get a little here and a little there.  Put some effort into it and see where it goes.  I hope this has helped and please update me and let me know how things are going.

 -Crystal

Hi Crystal,

I'm dealing with a fling from the past that I use to be sooooooooo into. The sex was awesome and I had so many multiple orgasms with him... now that he is back in the picture and i'm a bit older (5 years older) things aren't the same anymore and i'm very disapointed by it. I haven't had a single orgasm with him!!! WTF?! This is the guy that would just simply touch me and I would just get extra wet!!! Now I think I have better luck getting my ownself wet :( I tried using toys with him... and it gets me pretty excited but without them we're nothing. I really like him and want to get all those feelings back because let me tell you our sex was beyond incredible... anytime, anywhere... man... those where the days. What are your thoughts?

Melly from Los Angeles

 Good evening Melly,

      I hear your problem and I definitely feel for you.  But I have to say that the very first thing that comes to mind is: are you still mentally into him?  Sometimes sex and the excitement that precedes or follows it is mental.  You said, "use to be".  Maybe you are still living in the past and memories can be deceiving.  It seems that since you have been able to introduce sex toys into the bedroom without him freaking out that you have good communication with him.  Have you talked to him about your problem or are you bringing the toys into bed on false pretenses?  Think back to the things he used to do to you back then and try to recreate them.  What toys are you guys using?  And if he is okay with it I would definitely have him try using a vibrating cock ring while you have sex.  This will wrap around the base of his penis (which will help him maintain an erection longer and prolong his orgasm) with a bullet shaped vibrator on top that will vibrate on your clit while he is inside you.  This can definitely help.  They are tons of fun and since they are small, they are less likely to intimidate him.  Please keep me up to date and let me know how it goes.  Good luck!

Crystal,

Man... I'm pretty desperate. My girl is pretty much the hottest chick ever right? You'd think I would be stoked and just hold my head up high when ever she's around? WRONG! She is too hot for her own good and knows it. She comes and goes when she is in the mood for some hardcore sex but right after it she gets up and takes off! WTF?! At first, I was like what ever... I'm a man and that was pretty hot... but now i'm left feeling a bit used? I get hit on by hot chicks all the time.. so I know we make a good match... Everytime I bring this shit up she laughs and says: "Awh, you're so cute"... and tells me it's all in my head... she says that time is her biggest enemy and if she has to go... then she has to go! What is that suppose to mean?! The sex is amazing... but it's just not doing it for me anymore... Am I wrong for feeling this way? Do you think i'm not really satisfying her and that's why she is quick to jam out the door? What can I do? Waste my time... and hit it and quit it... or what? FYI: This just happened about 10 minutes ago... AGAIN! She banged the hell out of me and took off.. she didn't even bother to take her panties with her! I feel so lame...

Thanks,

Mike from Encino

Wow Mike, so the tables have turned...your bitch is so hot she can come and go as she pleases.  She use you for some good dick and then runs?  Hmmm, I'm used to getting this complaint from the opposite sex.  But what lots of girls don't know is that guys can feel used too.  Maybe in the beginning it seemed fun and even hot.  But now you are sitting there wondering if you have been used, and if you have, whether you like it or not.  I think it's time you really stop her and tell her how you feel, without letting her blow you off by telling you that you are cute and how sweet you are.  Tell her you are starting to feel unappreciated.  Put it in "I" terms.  Ask her if you are doing something wrong that is making her want to run off on you.  And if you guys are together, why aren't you spending time together not humping like bunnies?  But to answer your other question, I think if you weren't pleasing her she wouldn't be coming back for more.  I am positive that it all boils down to a communication problem.  Quit letting her run off, talk to her.  Even if that means holding her clothes hostage until she'll talk!

-Crystal

Hi there Crystal,

So... I have a boyfriend who is Italian... haha... and "yes"... he carries with him a BIG ONE!

Now, my prolem is that the last couple of times that we have had sex, without even getting rough or anything... I end up bleeding a bit!!! I just started to have a sexual relationship with this guy and i'm pretty bummed. He is full of pride and thinks it is great because it shows how "big" he is... but i'm not sure what to make of this?

I have never, EVER experienced this before and i'm getting a bit freaked out. Plus, If you ask me I think it is pretty gross and it kills the mood... I constantly worried that i'm going to be bleeding... I don't bleed a lot.. but just enough to cause me to freak out. Is he just too big?! Is there such a thing? Or should I just make a doctors appointment and get myself checked out?

- Isabella -

Hi there Isabella,

      Much to your boyfriend's dismay, I really don't believe that it has anything to do with his size.  There are many factors that can lead to vaginal bleeding during and after sex and they are all something that your doctor should be discussing with you.  It can be for reasons such as Fibroid Tumors, Uterine Polyps, endomitritis, cervical dysplasia or it can be a sign of an infection.  All of these conditions are treatable and although they are scary to you now, they are actually very common.  Please make yourself a doctor appointment and keep me posted via comments on this post or another email.  Thanks for your great question!

-Crystal

DEAR CRYSTAL,
I RECENTLY LOST IT TO MY BOYFRIEND OF 5 MONTHS. I WAITED 4 MONTHS TO SEE IF HE WAS REALLY THE ONE. TO MAKE A LONG STORY SHORT...
I LOST IT TO HIM...AND NOW HE'S ACTING LIKE A PENDEJO TOWARDS ME, AND SAYS "WE SHOULD SEE OTHER PEOPLE!"
IS HE LOCO IN THE COCO OR WHAT? WHAT DO I DO?

STEPHANIE
IN SAN GABRIEL,CA

 Hi Stephanie,

      Sorry to hear that your man is acting up.  Here is the thing, you sound young he probably is too.  It's rare for boys this age to settle for long periods of time.  You know him well enough to answer your own question...did you already lose him and you are trying to hold on or is there still a chance?  Unfortunately, a very, very small percentage of people end up staying with the person we lost our virginity to.  But you are feeling used right now because you waited and you felt you were giving him something special.  He's a real jerk for blowing you off for after a month anyway.  I think you should let him go, take some time off, really assess yourself and how you are feeling about sex.  Then take your time getting into a new relationship.  And this time be even more sure.  I don't have anything by way of relationship advice but hopefully you will look back one day and not totally regret losing your virginity to him because you obviously like him for some reason.  Keep your head up...

 -Crystal

crystal

Im a big girl and i have yet to reach orgasm. do you think its because of my weight? also is there any type of toy that can accommodate someone like me?

Claudia
in pasadena

Hi Claudia! 

     Great question... being overweight can definitley be a factor in low sex drive.  And I stress the work can.  Let me explain why.  The more body fat you have, the higher levels of a natural protein called sex hormone binding globulin (SHBG) occur.  This protein binds itself to the sex hormone testosterone.  The reason that this is important is because the more testosterone that is bound to SHBG, the less there is available to stimulate desire.  But...and there is a but...the good news is that research has shown that a healthier diet with less fat and more fresh fruits and veggies can really boost your sex drive.  On top of that, any exercise that increases blood flow to your pelvic or buttocks areas such as power walking or cycling is likely to produce more arousal and lubrication, leading to a heightened state of sexual desire.  There other thing that you should be doing too, especially since you said you have never had an orgasm, is to be more comfortable with yourself and learn more about yourself down there.  Really take time out to touch and explore, heck, get a mirror and look around down there!  We have all done it!  Learn what feels good.  Then you can definitely go out and buy yourself a toy.  I would suggest a vibrator and dildo combo.  One with separate controls for each.  Anything in the iVibe Rabbit family is really good.  They have a section right in the middle of the dildo part with pearls that roll around producing a great feeling on the inside of your pussy while the external clit stimulator should more than do the trick to bringing you to your first mind-altering, toe-curling orgasm.   I've included a picture to help you figure out what to look for when you shop.

sup crystal

I've known my booty call since 2001 we even dated before we became each others booty call. He got some other girl pregnant while we were together and we stopped being each other's booty call for a while. My question is does me having feelings for my booty call normal? Because i see him with other girls and it gets me angry. He knows how to satisfy a girl and just thinking about him satisfying another girl that isn't me gets me mad. What do I do?

Anna
in Phoenix

What's up Anna,

      Great question, thanks for writing...One thing that stands out for me is the length of time you have been seeing this "booty call" as you name it.  To me, having a booty call for that long sounds more like a relationship to me.  Booty calls are supposed to come and go and get you over dry spells and what not.  Have you not had a serious relationship in 7 years?  It is very normal for a woman especially to start to harbor feelings for someone we are intimate with for this long of a time.  It's in our nature to be jealous and protective.  I wouldn't say it's a bad thing, but in a relationship where the feelings aren't reciprocated, it can lead to hurt.  And you are starting to see this already.  That's good that sex is great with him, but I say it's time to trade him in for a newer model.  Sex can be good with anyone if they are willing to learn and you are willing to teach.  If you know you and your "booty call's" relationship isn't gonna go anywhere, I suggest expanding your horizons...Hope this helps, feel free to write back.  Thank you so much!

 -Crystal

hi crystal,

I have been with my boyfriend for 7 months now and every time we have sex it is over really quick. I love him but I'm very sexually frustrated. I want to know if there is anything that I can do to help him last longer and be able to satisfy me without hurting his feelings.


Jadee
california

Hi Jadee,

      Thanks for sending me your question, I really understand your concern.  Anyone and everyone that has ever been sexually active at some point in their life has had this disappointment.  But not to fret!  There are answers.  This is something that can be fixed in many ways.  Depending on what kind of communication you guys have you can approach it many way.  You can make it sexy and alluring by helping him learn the things that make you crazy.  Believe it or not, most men are really turned on by hearing what women want in bed.  As long as it's not given like an instruction manual and barked out like a drill sergeant!  Men think it's incredibly sexy for a woman to know what she wants, and then the pressure is off them so they aren't down there playing guessing games.  I am a firm believer that it is totally a woman's responsibility to know what she likes and how she wants it.  Maybe if he doesn't last long you could ask him to go down on your first.  Say something in the lines of, "Mmm hey, I think tonight you should go down on me and eat me real good so I get really wet and wild for you afterward..." or something to that affect.  Or if it's actually the penetration you want to last longer maybe you could introduce him to some Prolonging Cream which can help make sex last longer.  Or you can always do my favorite...give him a blow job first to help get that first nut off!  Good luck, and let me know how it goes...thanks for writing!

 -Crystal